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Last night was the second time I made the mistake of taking my husband with me to see a Twilight movie; Breaking Dawn. First, let me just say that I am not one of those crazy die hard Twilight Team Jacob/Edward fans. Really, I’m not. Yes, I’ve read the books…and yes I’ve seen the movies. But….here is the difference between me and one of those crazy fans: I think it’s horrible that the vampires sparkle (I mean, REALLY? Sparkling Vampires?? That’s just…weird) and WHERE THE HECK ARE THE DIDDLY DANG FANGS??? Whoever heard of a vampire that doesn’t have fangs? The bite marks look like HUMAN bite marks, not vampire. As a die hard vampire anything fan (I like to think of myself as an expert…I love vampire movies and books), this no fang thang drives me absolutely batty!

So anyway, last year, my husband and I went with some friends to a drive in to see Eclipse, and last night we saw Breaking Dawn. Big mistake. Big. Here are just some of the things he did during the movie that led me to make the decision not to take him to the next one:

  • He would not stop talking during the movie. He will either be questioning something (because he really didn’t pay attention to the last movies, or he didn’t read the books) or he will be making fun of something (when the part about imprinting came up, Rick leaned over to me and asked “Does that mean they pee on each other?” Ok, I admit, that was pretty funny.
  • He will laugh at inappropriate times. He thought Edward breaking the bed was pretty funny. And the part where the Cullens jumped off a cliff and across a river, he leaned over to me again and said, “I didn’t know these vampires could fly”. 
  • He’ll eat all the popcorn. At one point, half way through the movie, I looked over at Rick and saw him with his head in a bucket of popcorn. The bucket was empty…and his head was in it. Then he hopped up and said he was going to get his free refills. 
  • He plays with stuff. Shortly after coming back with his refills, he starts playing with his cup and straw. Until he spilled the coke down the front of his shirt. He looks over at me, sees me glaring at him…then he hangs his head in shame.
  •  He will be disappointed. When he found out Bella was pregnant, he immediately started thinking that THIS would be the real vampire…a demon baby with fangs that will kill everyone. Instead? He gets a baby that is a twilight vampire that imprints with a wolf. Big let down for him and he let me know it.  Oh, and he said there was not enough action to keep him interested.

I think next year, I will plan a girls night out and go see the next chapter of Breaking Dawn with them while Rick stays home with the kids.

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