This 4th of July is going to be kind of weird. But last years was very different as well. Usually we get together with friends and family for a cookout where afterwards, the men (our boys included) start blowing things up. Well, not really. But it sounds like it. Though there was that one year my hair almost caught on fire….
Last year we were in Jacksonville, Florida on the fourth. We were there to be with my stepson as he fought for his life during a stem cell transplant at the Mayo Clinic. After spending a couple hours with him, we took our youngest daughter (the only child that went to Florida with us) to Jacksonville Landing for the festivities. During that time, we looked for things to do with her when we were not with Tyler, so that she could have a little fun that summer (she turned 12 while we were there). I remember Tyler saying he wished he could be at one of our famous 4th of July cook outs rather than being in that hospital bed, staring at those four walls for weeks at a time. I keep having flashbacks to last summer and my heart aches.
This year, even though we are home, we won’t be having one of our famous cookouts. It’s just too soon. We will take Faith (my son is with his dad) to see fireworks somewhere. Maybe next year we will feel up to having one of our cookouts. But that will be different too without Tyler there. Nothing will ever be like it was.
Thank God for pictures and memories! Happy 4th of July.
If anyone is able to bring my husband out of his sadness and depression, it is our youngest daughter. Since losing our oldest son a little over six weeks ago, moments of silliness and laughter have been few and far between for our family. But we try if only for her sake. She’s so beautiful, vibrant and full of life…and just so darn funny, it’s hard to resist her.
On a recent thrift shopping trip (you know how I love to go with both of them), she was able to drag her daddy into a few moments of silliness. And I could not resist taking a video and snapping a few pictures of them.
I’m hopeful we will have more and more of these moments in the future as we heal and come to terms with our loss. Laughter is healing, and I know Tyler wouldn’t want us to be sad and depressed all the time. He more than anyone loved to laugh. <3