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My daughter is almost 11 years old and constantly has us laughing at the things she says and does. She literally has no filter…which can be VERY embarrassing at times also. The following are some new additions to the popular “Funny Things My Daughter Says”.


  • “you’re a big bowl of weirdness”
  • “Have you ever had a friend that made you laugh your botox off?”
  • “Dad, you are so amish!”
  • “Dad, you drive me up the wall.”
  • “They don’t like me because they’re a bunch of butt crackers and hater-aides”
  • “Allie, you’re like a zit on my face that won’t go away.”
  • “When are we gonna go stare at grandma?”
  • “What kind of mountains are those? Smoky?”
  • A nurse asked her if she wanted to be a nurse when she grew up. She said, “No, that’s too much work. I’m going to be a lazy singer when I grow up”
  • Nurse: “So, are you going to be on the X Factor or American Idol to be discovered?”. Faith: “No, I am gonna have Rihanna find me. Or maybe Jack Black.”

She came up with the last five yesterday when we took her to see her grandmother in the hospital (nothing too serious…she broke her hip, bless her heart).  The nurse wanted to show her how to put an IV in and Faith ran behind me telling her to “keep that needle away from me!”. As the nurse was explaining how to do it, Faith just looked at her like she was crazy. She had all of us laughing at her.

You can read more funny quotes from my daughter on the following pages:




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