Other than a post here and there such as my Wordless Wednesday posts and the random giveaways, I’ve not blogged so much this past year. Between my stepson being so sick, then I got sick, my Aunt that was like a second mother to me dying, then my stepson’s death over two months ago, I guess everyone can understand. There were days when I literally physically could not write a thing and other days I just didn’t feel like it. This has been the hardest year and half of my family’s life.
Nothing will ever be like it was.
But that doesn’t mean we don’t have good moments.
I still have bouts of depression and I’m sure I will for a while. My husband is also battling depression, on a much deeper level than I am. Not a moment goes by where he doesn’t think of his son. Even the smallest thing triggers memories. One minute he’s laughing or cutting up, and then next he is in tears. It’s hard to move on after the death of a loved one, especially one so close as a son or stepson. We all try to be strong for each other, but really..what is strength? There is strength in grieving. Tears are a good thing.
Then you have the siblings. My youngest daughter, God love her heart, is struggling. I don’t think it’s fully hit her yet that she will never see her brother again; not in this life. I know her other siblings are hurting as well.
I know that with time, these really bad days will become fewer and fewer. I know that by the grace of God, those good moments will once again become good days. And when it does, that doesn’t mean we don’t love any less or care any less. It doesn’t mean that we won’t hurt and miss him. It just means we’ve gotten stronger and gotten used to him not being with us.
I’ve made up my mind to start writing more and posting blog entries. My writings may not follow a theme, it may not always be sunshine and roses, and it may not always be humorous. But it will be therapeutic.