My Bizarre Family

Posts Tagged ‘funny things my daughter says’

My daughter and her crazy ramblings on Facebook:

And this thread is a particular favorite of mine:

Thank the lurdddd!

I’ve not really felt in the mood to blog in the past week or so, but I know I need to keep up with it. So, I went through some of my older drafts to see if there was anything I wanted to go ahead and publish and came across this one. I have been adding to it over the past few months, so it’s not too old. Some of the recent silly things my daughter has said:

• “Is a Synagog a cigarette?”

• “I like that shirt best, Mom. It hides your chubbies.”

• “Are you prayin’ to the Lord?” (Who else would I be praying to?)

• “Mom, by the time I get in 7th grade, I will have big bajongas!” (said while pointing to her chest)

• “Mom, grandma has bingo arms” When asked what bingo arms were…she said “hanging flappy skin that flaps…like an old woman yelling ‘BINGO while waving her flappy arm!”

• “He kicked me right in the bread basket of my butt!”

• “When I’m sad, I think of babies with mustaches”

• “Mom, can I get on the computer? Mom? Hello! Can I get on the computer? ‘Mmmmm’ is not an answer!”

• “Dad, you’re making me not blink. When you make an ADHD kid lose focus, they stop blinking.”

•  ”Her dad bounces in a club? Like a ball? Bouncing up and down? That’s dumb.”

• “Sweet nibblets!!!” (said as you would say “Holy Cow!”)
• “The other day at school, I thought my ear was ringing…but when I turned around I saw that it was my teacher’s cell phone. She’s, like, 70.”

Isn’t she a nut? I’ve no idea where she gets this stuff, but it keeps us laughing!

My youngest daughter is pretty funny…and she doesn’t come with much of a filter (to my embarrassment at times). Here is yet another post of Funny Things My Daughter Says!

*Dad, your driving makes me choke.

*I think grandma’s leg is rotten.

*Dad, do you have $2.00? Yes? Ok, I need $12.00.

*Do gingers tan?

*I”m a natural beauty and can attract any man I want

*My blood pressure is 142. I must have been hyper today!

*Is a Synagog a cigarette?

*Mom, I like that shirt better because…it hides your chubbies

*Mom, did you know that when a girl jumps, her boobies jiggle? Do they sag when you get old?

*Allie: Faith, why are you opening all the blinds? Faith: Because my roses need solar power!

To see more funny things she has said, click HERE.

My daughter is almost 11 years old and constantly has us laughing at the things she says and does. She literally has no filter…which can be VERY embarrassing at times also. The following are some new additions to the popular “Funny Things My Daughter Says”.

• “you’re a big bowl of weirdness”

• “Have you ever had a friend that made you laugh your botox off?”

• “Dad, you are so amish!”

• “Dad, you drive me up the wall.”

• “They don’t like me because they’re a bunch of butt crackers and hater-aides”

• “Allie, you’re like a zit on my face that won’t go away.”

• “When are we gonna go stare at grandma?”

• “What kind of mountains are those? Smoky?”

• A nurse asked her if she wanted to be a nurse when she grew up. She said, “No, that’s too much work. I’m going to be a lazy singer when I grow up”

• Nurse: “So, are you going to be on the X Factor or American Idol to be discovered?”. Faith: “No, I am gonna have Rihanna find me. Or maybe Jack Black.”

She came up with the last five yesterday when we took her to see her grandmother in the hospital (nothing too serious…she broke her hip, bless her heart).  The nurse wanted to show her how to put an IV in and Faith ran behind me telling her to “keep that needle away from me!”. As the nurse was explaining how to do it, Faith just looked at her like she was crazy. She had all of us laughing at her.

You can read more funny quotes from my daughter on the following pages:

http://mybizarrefamily.com/?p=33

http://mybizarrefamily.com/?p=51