My Bizarre Family

Archive for the ‘Bizarre’ Category

My husband has always said that he sleeps with one eye open. And after nearly thirteen years of marriage, I finally believe him! Last night as I was walking out of the bedroom, I just happened to glance over at a particularly loud snore that emerged from my husband’s side of the bed, only to be stopped in my tracks in freaked out amazement….

My husband had one eye open. And he was snoring! After making sure he was not faking, I snapped a few pictures, then touched his arm and whispered, “Rick? Honey…”

His open eye got wider, then his pupil rolled towards me. He kept on snoring, but seemed to be staring me down. That’s a little freaky. So what did I do? Grabbed my phone again and this time…took video footage of this weirdness! No one would ever believe me otherwise…

After telling him what happened and showing him my pictures and video (which, by the way, he will not let me post for you guys), he said, “Honey, I told you I sleep with one eye open! It would take a special person to be able to sneak up on me, even in my sleep!”

I must be a special person. Our daughter must be too, because when she was little, every Saturday morning when daddy was off work, instead of waking me up, she would go to his side of the bed and slowly pull his eyelid up and whisper, “Dad. Dad? Dad! Are you awake? Stop snoring and wake up! Dad? Are you awake?”

And he would always answer, “I am now.”

Speaking of my daughter, she will sometimes sleep walk (not often and normally it’s when I’m trying to get her to wake up…it’s kind of funny when she wakes up and realizes she has been walking and talking to me for a few minutes) and on the rare occasion, she will talk in her sleep.

Has your spouse or kids ever done anything odd or weird in their sleep that startled you?

Apparently, I have writers block. It’s been going on for a while now and it sucks. Big time. I know I have many things I could write about, but the words will not come. Which means I’m stuck on the book I’m writing too, not just my blog. Ugh. I’ve read many many tips and ideas on how to get over this block, including my favorite, “talk to a monkey” like this person suggested. Ummm…I wonder if a fish would work? I think my daughter still has Nemo. Must try.

I wish I had some tootsie rolls.

Have you ever had writer’s block? What did you do to overcome it?

Yes, folks…this is my son. I’m one proud mom! Seriously, we needed the laugh!

I’ve not really felt in the mood to blog in the past week or so, but I know I need to keep up with it. So, I went through some of my older drafts to see if there was anything I wanted to go ahead and publish and came across this one. I have been adding to it over the past few months, so it’s not too old. Some of the recent silly things my daughter has said:

• “Is a Synagog a cigarette?”

• “I like that shirt best, Mom. It hides your chubbies.”

• “Are you prayin’ to the Lord?” (Who else would I be praying to?)

• “Mom, by the time I get in 7th grade, I will have big bajongas!” (said while pointing to her chest)

• “Mom, grandma has bingo arms” When asked what bingo arms were…she said “hanging flappy skin that flaps…like an old woman yelling ‘BINGO while waving her flappy arm!”

• “He kicked me right in the bread basket of my butt!”

• “When I’m sad, I think of babies with mustaches”

• “Mom, can I get on the computer? Mom? Hello! Can I get on the computer? ‘Mmmmm’ is not an answer!”

• “Dad, you’re making me not blink. When you make an ADHD kid lose focus, they stop blinking.”

•  ”Her dad bounces in a club? Like a ball? Bouncing up and down? That’s dumb.”

• “Sweet nibblets!!!” (said as you would say “Holy Cow!”)
• “The other day at school, I thought my ear was ringing…but when I turned around I saw that it was my teacher’s cell phone. She’s, like, 70.”

Isn’t she a nut? I’ve no idea where she gets this stuff, but it keeps us laughing!