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Monthly Archives: December 2011

I swear, I can’t take my husband anywhere. Yesterday, we went to the Golden Corral for lunch and for those that do not know, they have a chocolate waterfall…kind of like a big fondue. Rick wanted to wheeze the juice.  For those that do not know what wheezing the juice is, I’ve included a video of it (if you grew up in the 80s and 90s and watched Pauly Shore, you know what I’m talking about):

THAT is wheezing the juice. Yeah, Rick wanted to do this to the chocolate waterfall! I think the only thing that stopped him is thinking about all the hands that may have been in it….and it would totally be crossing the line! But, because of this, we have decided we are going to buy a fondue dohickey!!! Oh, we can have so much fun with a fondue…

My 10 year old daughter is hilarious…she says some of the funniest things. I thought I would share a few of the things she has said recently:

  • “I have a question. Can I lick you?” – She asked me this when I was brushing her hair before school one morning. Just out of the blue…I must have looked tasty.
  • “Christian, did you know that money is paper?”
  • Me: “Faith, you smell like burnt popcorn”. Faith: “It might be my arm pits”. 
  • “Dad, don’t you ever get hot when you wear long sleeved shirts, because of your arm hairs?”  -said as he was helping her with math homework. She kept examining his arms.
  • “Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, he licked his butt and smelled a bear” – First thing she said after I woke her up for school. I think I see a pattern forming…
  • “I am NOT wearing my hair like that…I look Chinese!!!” Me: “What makes you look Chinese?” Her: “When I smile, my eyes get squinty and the hair things make it worse”
  • “Dad, are Chinese people and Japanese people from the same tribe?”-Said while we were eating at a Chinese Restaurant. Thank God she wasn’t loud…that could have been really embarrassing! 
  •  “Dad, don’t your arms feel puffy when you wear long sleeves…you know, because of your arm hairs?” -What is it with her and arm hairs?
  • “Dad’s old. He was born in the 1800s.”
  •  “There are poop sparkles in the bathroom” -I think she meant poop “particles”. 
  • “I would love to change the world…but they won’t give me the source code”
  • “Sometimes, I feel like a smurf trapped in a dungeon”

Yes, I have weird kids…weird but FUNNY!

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