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Monthly Archives: November 2011

Once upon a time, there was a husband and wife driving home from a meeting when the husband noticed that the gas gauge was reading empty, so decided to pull into a Food City gas station. After getting out of the car and paying the cashier for gas, he climbs back into the car and takes off down the road as the wife is busy texting on her cell phone. About 15 minutes later and half way across town, the husband notices that the gas gauge is not only saying “empty” but it is also dinging. “April, honey….did I actually pump the gas before I left the gas station?” The wife replied, “I don’t know, Rick….I was kind of busy on my phone and wasn’t paying attention. Please tell me you didn’t drive off without pumping our gas?!”. “Well…I may have”. They quickly pull into a restaurant and as they were sitting down to eat, the husband pulled out his phone and called the store. Turns out he did, in fact, leave without pumping our gas. He did pay for it though! The couple had to stop at another gas station across the street to get gas to go get their gas.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this man is my husband and it really did happen. He seems to be getting kind of forgetful as he ages (he’s only 43..sheesh). Minor things I can see forgetting about, but how do you forget to pump your gas after you’ve already paid for it?

Another incident happened last night. As he was driving home from work, he called me up and told me he thinks he needs to see an optometrist; it seems he was having a hard time seeing the road and was afraid he was developing night blindness. Towards the end of our conversation and half way home, he says to me, “Um, April? I don’t think I need to see an optometrist after all. Seems I forgot to turn my headlights on.” What am I gonna do with that man? Thank you, nice people, for honking, waving and flashing your lights at him! Without you, he’d probably still be in the dark.

Every day is an adventure; I never know what my husband is going to do or say next!

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That’s the phrase my husband likes to use most when he is using his “Rick the Hick” voice. For those that don’t know, my husband likes to use different voices…he has several. He reminds me alot of Robin Williams, because he can be just as funny…even without the voices. Today, I filmed him using the “Rick the Hick” voice, without him knowing about it…you can see the surprise and definitely hear it when he finds out he is being recorded. I don’t think he realized I would post it on Youtube, Facebook and my blog though!

I’m such a good wife! =)

My son is 14 and in the 8th grade. Since he hit middle school…and really since last year, it’s been a daily struggle to get him up on time to meet the bus. It literally takes me 30 minutes of screaming and threatening him to get his butt up out of bed and out the door for school. It doesn’t matter what time he goes to bed at night, I’m still struggling to get him up in the mornings.

The past several mornings, it has gotten so bad that he wound up running behind the school bus, chasing the darn thing, to get it to stop so he can board. It doesn’t help that the bus was coming earlier than usual. So, I had to start an extra 30 minutes early to get him up…from 6:50am to 6:20am. And it’s not easy either, since I have to help get my daughter ready and to watch for her bus at 6:40 (and he’s always late).

So, here it is, 6:55am, and Christian is still not up. Faith just left on her bus and Rick is in the shower. So…I take my cellphone into his room….turn it up as loud as it can go, and start blasting Dolly Parton & Kenny Rogers’ Islands In The Stream, with me singing along with it at the top of my lungs. That gets him to move a little bit. By the time the song is over, he is already yelling at me to shut up and get out, with his voice all cracking with puberty. Rick heard me from the bathroom and knew what I was up to…so he joined right in on the singing (the bathroom is right across from Christian’s room). But, he’s still not out of bed. So…I go to the next song I know he would LOVE (hate)…and it’s Celine Dion’s I Love You. So, I blast it and start singing at the top of my lungs again. By the time I made it to the first chorus, he is up!

I’ve been serenading him with Celine Dion the past two mornings and I must say, I’m beyond happy with the results. He’s up within a few minutes! I’m so happy…now I know exactly what to do to get him moving in the mornings in a timely fashion. Needless to say, the past two mornings, he was EARLY to the bus stop!

I’ve blogged a few times already about my crazy shopping trips with my husband. Well, those kind of shopping trips are a regular occurrence in my life. The most recent being at Walmart with my husband, Rick, and my daughter, Faith.

We were in the Holiday aisle, which was still filled with Halloween costumes. I wanted to try and find some deals, but we were short on time, so I sent Rick to the pharmacy (the real reason why we were there) to get Faith’s prescription before they closed. Right after I asked him to head towards the pharmacy and as my back was turned, I heard Faith giggling. And giggling. I mean, it was so bad, other people were stopping to look at her. So finally, I asked her what in the world was she laughing at. In between her giggles, she replied, “I clipped a pink monkey tail on dad right before he left, and before I could take it back off, he rushed away”. She stood there watching him walk with that pink, curled monkey tail hanging from his butt. Unfortantely, by the time I figured out what was going down, he was already out of sight, so couldn’t snap any pictures.

Faith and I started walking…really fast…trying to catch up with him…her giggling the whole time. We made it to the pharmacy right in time to see him waving the pink monkey tail in the air saying, “Of course I know what the medicine is for….(waving the tail)…THIS is what the medicine is for…I just wore this clipped to my fanny throughout the whole store!”. Oh, we about died laughing! Faith told the pharmacist, “I have ADD”. So funny!

Rick told me that he didn’t realize it was clipped to his back pocket until he was almost to the pharmacy and his tail almost knocked some products off into the floor as he turned a corner. When he turned around, he noticed alot of people pointing and laughing at him. Oh, what I wouldn’t give for the security tapes of that!

For the record, the medicine Faith takes for ADHD is Vyvanse, and I think it is a miracle drug. She is able to pay attention in class now, and it doesn’t affect her personality at all ( in fact, she would have stuck that pink tail on her dad with or without the medicine!). She went from making D’s to A’s & B’s. I’m so proud of her!

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